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Why do you stop these behaviors? Female feelings are fickle. Just like she went from liking you to not liking you… she can go from not liking you, to liking you again! Slideshow Summary of this Article. I really like your tips. You are a very inspirational person and I appreciate your help. However I was wondering If you could give me some personal help here.

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So, I really like this girl. She never leaves my mind. I try not to overflow her with texts, but the urge is strong believe me. We are pretty good friends and she is my lead actress in all of my short films I direct. But recently she has been paying attention to this buff, super handsome, talented singer guy and it makes my blood boil.

I happen to be quite shy but once I open up I am a really awesome guy. My friends say she really likes me but every time I try to make a move, the guy shows up and steals the show.

What to do if she is seeing another guy?

This one guy has nothing in common with her unlike me and treated all of his previous girlfriends terrible. I need some help and you seem like the right person to ask. Thanks so much my friend. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. How to Escape The Friend Zone: An amazing girl you like doesn't feel the same way about you… and it's driving you crazy. You've lost your… Read more…. I was just thinking about this. I was interested in a girl when I was in college.

We, and our respective friend groups, had hung out on many separate occasions. Some of her roommates and I shared majors and the same with her friends and mine. We'd drink, watch movies, BS at dinner, etc. I am really not the kind of guy who rushes in head-long into relationships. I prefer to think about the potential therein, vet what kind of person they are, get a sense of their interests, values, and perspectives on issues I am picky about.

But here's the rub- very seldom will I ever openly tell them. It's always done surreptitiously and covertly. By that I mean that this information is acquired over a long period of time, longer than most people do when they ask themselves if they want to ask someone out typically. I do not mean that I stalk them or interrogate their friends. I simply spend time in their presence and through general everyday conversations, the truth will out, and I'll make up my mind. Some of you will find this to be ridiculous, overly analytical, lacking in emotion or sentiment.

It's designed that way. I am not any of those things. You don't just buy the first house you look at, or the first car you test drive. Or at least you shouldn't.

Attracting a Girl with a Boyfriend | A Guide for Guys

I firmly believe that. A dating partner is the same way. Now, on to the story. I had kind of "figured out" this girl and how interested I was. I wanted to ask her out and was probably going to, she knew, some of my friends knew it, and it was fine. I thought I was ready as possible.


One weekend, there was a big party at their house she and her friends all lived in. There were a lot more people there than usual, including various friends from their hometowns. I noticed this girl talking with this other guy in a different way than you usually do. She asked me to come talk to her in a more private spot.

Now, by this time I had figured out that she wasn't nearly as into me as I was.

And I knew why- this other guy had replaced me. I wasn't mad about that. In fact, the length of time that whole vetting process had taken had basically dried up my interest and left me time to focus on things I was much more compelled to follow through on. When we talked, I asked what her relationship with the other guys was like or if she was stringing me along. She claimed he was "just a friend. Who hasn't heard that one before.

This might come across as bitter or sardonic, but as I stated earlier, I didn't invest myself too emotionally into this process. So my response was along the lines of "if that's how you feel I found in the end that I didn't really miss much of it. There's too many games and even more annoying guesswork in. Anyway, I got really busy with school, stopped partying so much, and we went our separate life paths. I'd still catch bits of news on her from hers and my mutual friends, as well as social media. She moved to Oregon, I stayed closer to my hometown. You can probably imagine my lack of surprise when I found that Mr. I ran into her at a wedding a couple years later, took some photos of them and we had talked during dinner.

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The wedding itself was dull and the meal itself even more so is about all I remember. So, to answer OP's question, girl chose another guy over me, isn't coming back. I didn't hide from her, either in person, or on the internet. Life just took us in separate directions. Ultimately this experience taught me the lesson that dating and bothering to try was a huge energy investment that didn't really match the rewards.

The cost benefit analysis produces a lot of red flags- it's too confusing, people are too inconsistent, and the benefits don't match or exceed the cost required to attain them. If that's how it is, that's how it is. It seems that your conclusion depends almost entirely on your approach and the amount of time you spent analyzing rather than feeling. You invested an incredible amount of time and attention into a single person without really dating her?

Were I her I would find that insanely intense. Just because she checked several of your boxes during your analytical does not mean it was a perfect match. Maybe this is a bit churlish, but what the hell does "feeling" have to do with anything? My approach is designed to eliminate making emotional decisions.

I have yet to make an emotional decision I didn't regret. Maybe feelings are your wheelhouse, but for me, they are not. I prefer to use my brain whenever possible and with as little input from emotions as possible. I should have made this clearer in my post- it was over a span of time. I don't want to put words in your mouth or assume I know what you meant, but this was a relatively quick process.

It wasn't a huge time commitment. If it was, I would have bailed. This was not a obsessive pursuit, like my interest in sports, music, and cuisine are for me. Figuring someone else out is a matter of spending time with them. It was very seldom one-on-one. You just have to watch how they interact with others, what they talk about, how they talk about, and all of the other components that comprise a given person's personality.

If your group of friends and hers intermingle as often as ours did, you don't have to spend a humongous time talking to them one-on-one. It's not as though I was at her house every day or in all of her classes e. Maybe that is too intense.